


Spelled

by Bluiiieee



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Iris and her damn spell, M/M, Post episode 2x08, i'm terrible at tags sorryy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 06:33:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9980642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluiiieee/pseuds/Bluiiieee
Summary: Now Isabelle and Max were probably studying runes together in Izzy’s room, Clary and Jace were off talking about her pure angel blood and what to make of it, and Maryse had retreated to her room to rest before returning to Idris the next morning. Leaving Alec to his thoughts and an abused punching bag.“You're a murderer Alec, nothing more”“Don’t worry, Nobody's gonna miss you”“Why are you still here?”“You let a demon possess you.”“You're weak.”The words Clary had said in his spelled mind rung in his head.





	

The ceremony is over, Max did great. He had hardly flinched as a silent brother gave him his very first rune.

Now Isabelle and Max were probably studying runes together in Izzy’s room, Clary and Jace were off talking about her pure angel blood and what to make of it, and Maryse had retreated to her room to rest before returning to Idris the next morning. Leaving Alec to his thoughts and an abused punching bag.

He had been able to push his guilt aside for a short while, well distracted by Magnus and their blooming relationship. But the spell Iris had cast on them all had brought all his insecurities back front and center.

“You're a murderer Alec, nothing more”

“Don’t worry, Nobody's gonna miss you”  

“Why are you still here?”

“You let a demon possess you.”

“you're weak.”

The words Clary had said in his spelled mind rung in his head as he punched and kicked the bag. He hadn't realized how long he had been working himself until he had to stop to catch his breath and realized his hand was bruised and bloody at the knuckles. As he opened and squeezed his hand to regain feeling in it his brain pictured his hand on that day, covered in blood..Jocelyn’s blood..

He punched the bag three more times, harder than he had before, pain shooting through his hand up into his arm. He leaned his forehead against the top of the punching bag and squeezed his eyes tight.

The word “Murderer” in Clary’s voice repeated overwhelmingly in his head. He was so consumed him his thoughts he didn't notice when the training room door opened.

Magnus entered the room and quietly approached the man at the bag. “I've been looking everywhere for you..” he says quietly, his eyes trailing down to the injured hand by Alec's side “Oh Alexander..” he says quietly not sure what to say yet.

Alec slowly lifts his head from the bag and turns his head to look at Magnus. His eyes filled with as much, if not more pain than when he had turned up on Magnus’ fire escape.

“You're injured” Magnus states simply, glancing back down to the hand.    
“It's fine” Alec responds with an almost harsh sounding voice. Magnus has heard him say those words enough times to read through them.

He takes his hand in his own without asking, knowing Alec would move his hand away or once again insist that he doesn't need healing if he had asked.

Blue magic glows around the two men's hands as Magnus uses his magic to heal the Shadowhunter's hand. “How long have you been in here?” he questions.

Alec stares down at the hands, silent for a moment before answering. “..Since the ceremony finished,” he says finally. “Alec, that was four hours ago.” He informs the man, he had been worried sick. They had yet to discuss what had happened on the rooftop, in between sending Iris to The Clave, discovering Clary’s pure angel blood, and Max’s runing ceremony they hadn't had a chance. Magnus knew that the spell only fed into their already existing insecurities, meaning Alec must have been much worse than he had let on for it to have gotten him to the ledge of a building.

As Magnus worked his magic on Alec’s hand he asked reluctantly “..What happened up there..? Well, what did you think happened anyway?”

Alec removed his hand from Magnus’ grip and rubbed his knuckles, partially wishing there was still a tinge of pain to them. “Uhm.. as Clary was leaving I stopped her and asked her why.. and she said she couldn't stand the sight of me being there..” he paused, he was new to opening up to people and was, of course, reluctant to tell Magnus what went on in his head, but knew his boyfriend deserved an explanation.

He retold the events of the night from his point of view, at some point they had moved from the training area to the bench on against the wall.

It hurt Magnus to hear that part of what Spelled Clary had said to push him off the edge was “Nobody's gonna miss you” when he had no clue what he would have done if he hadn't made it to the roof fast enough to save him. Magnus glanced back down to Alec's hand and realized he had been scratching at the back of it while telling the events of the night. Magnus took his hand in his again but didn't begin healing it yet. He looked into Alecs eyes and said “None of it’s true. You aren't a murderer, it wasn't your fault..” he trailed off and looked down to the hands before saying quieter “I have no idea what I would have done if I hadn't made it to the roof in time.” he finished.

Alec opened his mouth as if to say something but snapped it shut, closing himself off.

When it became obvious that Alec had no clue how to answer Magnus continued. “Why didn’t you tell me this was still haunting you..?” He asks.    
Alec thinks for a moment, it is still foreign to him to open up and he isn’t very good at it yet.

“I.. um.... You distracted me from it” Is all Alec could think to say.

Magnus had prepared for a range of explanations, from ‘I was worried you would be upset’ to ‘I didn't trust you’ but one of the few he hadn't thought of was that he was unknowingly helping him.

He quietly nodded at Alec’s answer, before saying “I hope to continue to do as much” he paused “Why don't you come to my place tonight, get away from the institute for the night.”

“I'd like that” Alec says with a nod and a small smile.


End file.
